In the sacred realm of WhatsApp, where blue ticks reveal more than a thousand words, Christians find themselves navigating a digital domain rife with etiquette dilemmas. Behold, the Chronicles of Christian Communication, where the faithful wade through the murky waters of two ticks and divine delays.
1. The Mystic Ticker:
Meet the Christian with the patience of Job, or perhaps just the thick skin of a rhinoceros. Ignoring messages like a seasoned professional, they believe in the power of silence to convey a spiritual aloofness. The sender, on the other hand, interprets this radio silence as a deep, mystical reason for rudeness. Note to self: Responding might jeopardise your ticket to heaven.
2. The Weekend Worshipper:
For the devoted church worker, weekdays are reserved for professionalism, and their sacred scroll through churchy contacts only occurs on weekends. If you’re not on their holy roster, you might as well be lost in the digital wilderness. They’ve mastered the art of compartmentalised Christianity – weekdays for work, weekends for worship, and woe betide the soul who seeks their attention on a Monday.
3. The Convenient Leech:
Beware the Christian leech, who thrives on ignoring your messages until they need something. Like a supernatural chameleon, they transform from ghosting gurus to friendly allies in the blink of an eye when a favour is required. Handle with care, for they are the vampires of virtual communication, draining goodwill when it suits them.
4. The Sunday Saint-Amnesiac:
At Sunday church services, these individuals are closer than friends, but come Monday, it’s as if they’ve suffered a bout of spiritual amnesia. The divine connection experienced on the Sabbath evaporates, leaving you pondering the mysteries of two-faced syndrome. Alas, their memory is a fickle friend, especially when it comes to weekday WhatsApp commitments.
In the spirit of holy hilarity and heavenly harmony, let us propose a divine guide to Christian WhatsApp etiquette:
1. Thou Shalt Respond:
Acknowledge messages promptly, for in the digital realm, delays may be interpreted as divine disinterest. Remember, even Jesus responded to prayers.
2. Be a Weekday Worshipper:
Let not the weekdays be a wasteland for communication. Bring the sacred into the secular, and let thy WhatsApp be a vessel of constant connection.
3. Avoid Leech-like Behavior:
Do not be a digital vampire. Maintain consistent kindness, for genuine connections transcend convenient cravings.
4. No Sunday Amnesia Allowed:
Carry the spirit of Sunday into the weekdays. Respond and follow up, for a Christian’s commitment should not fade faster than last Sunday’s sermon.
In conclusion, let the digital disciples of Christ embrace a WhatsApp etiquette that mirrors the virtues they hold dear. May your messages be filled with grace, and may the blue ticks of acknowledgment shine like beacons of heavenly approval. Amen, and happy texting!
