The Christian perspective on cohabiting, or living together as an unmarried couple, can vary among different denominations and individual believers. However, many Christians believe that cohabiting goes against biblical teachings on sexual morality and the sanctity of marriage.

In the Bible, sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage between a man and a woman. For example, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, \”Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.\”

Additionally, many Christians believe that marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman that should be entered into with a commitment to each other and to God. Cohabiting, on the other hand, may be seen as a less serious commitment that does not have the same level of dedication to God and to each other.

Some early Christian writers, such as Tertullian and Augustine, believed that sexual activity outside of marriage was immoral and sinful. They saw marriage as a sacred covenant between a man and a woman, and any sexual activity outside of that covenant was considered to be fornication and a violation of God\’s will. The early church emphasised the importance of sexual purity and the sanctity of marriage.

How does it affect the local church?

Cohabiting can potentially have negative impacts on the local church in a few ways.

First, the church may struggle with maintaining a consistent message on sexual morality if cohabiting couples are allowed to participate in church activities without addressing their living situation. This may create confusion and conflict among church members who hold to a Biblical view on sexual morality.

Second, cohabiting can be seen as a reflection of a more general societal trend towards devaluing the institution of marriage. If the church is seen as condoning or accepting cohabiting, it may be perceived as inconsistent with Biblical Christian values.

Third, cohabiting can potentially lead to social and relational complications within the church. If a cohabiting couple breaks up or has a disagreement, it may create tension within the church community. Additionally, if the couple eventually decides to marry, there may be questions about the sincerity of their commitment or whether they are truly ready for the responsibilities of marriage.

Where in the Bible?

The Bible does not explicitly mention cohabiting, as it is a modern term that refers to unmarried couples living together. However, the Bible does provide guidance on sexual morality and the sanctity of marriage, which can be applied to the issue of cohabiting.

For example, in Hebrews 13:4, it says, \”Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.\” This verse emphasises the importance of marriage and sexual purity within the context of a committed relationship.

In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, it says, \”Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.\” This verse encourages Christians to flee from sexual immorality and honour God with their bodies, which can be interpreted as abstaining from sexual activity outside of marriage.

How to break-free and the support needed?

If you are cohabiting and wanting to break free, I want to offer my support and encouragement. Breaking away from a living arrangement can be a challenging and emotional experience, but it is important to remember that you are taking a step towards aligning your life with your values and beliefs.

I encourage you to seek out a supportive community, whether that be through a church, a support group, or close friends and family members. Surrounding yourself with people who understand and support your decision can provide a sense of comfort and validation as you navigate this process.

Most importantly, I encourage you to trust in God and lean on Him for strength and guidance during this time. Know that He loves you and desires the best for you, and that He is with you every step of the way.

Remember that breaking free from a cohabiting arrangement can be a difficult process, but it is also an opportunity for growth and transformation. You are taking a brave and important step towards living a life that is aligned with your faith and values.